Maybe it’s the fact I’ll soon be ticking the 26-30 box, maybe it’s the tallied up years of whatever the hell adulting is… but I’ve noticed a change in myself. I’ve started giving more of a shit. Not about what strangers think as I stroll to Tesco in my PJBs or what Kim K’s up to… but the important stuff.
I’m talking about being a good person, about caring more about strangers without self-interest, about my mental health, our planet and the cause that my behaviours and consumption has on it as a whole. I’m doing something about it and if you’re not, well ya should.
If I put myself on a couch and self-analyse, I think my attitude has shifted in the last year. I read recently that we don’t 100% mature until we turn 25 and I can unquestionably vouch for that. In the last 12 or so months, I’ve learnt that you still have to go to work hungover, just because you think you’re right at the time doesn’t mean that you are, face wipes do not take your makeup off and that a bad run in with a stranger on the tube will stay on your mind longer than it’s worth… so turn that frown upside down and don’t be a dick.
Teenagers are notoriously known for being defensive, pretty ignorant and for being right almost 100% of the time. But I don’t think this adolescent attitude stops as soon as you enter your 20s. Adapting to the responsibility of a full time job, not spending every dime on ASOS orders and cohabiting with a loved one is a long ass learning curve and looking back I can see that when this life-changing chapter all began two years ago, I wasn’t the same girl that I am today. My 25 year old self compared to postgrad Eppie is noticeably more forgiving, cares more about health and tends not to jump to conclusions among other things… oh and turns out that I’m only actually right 82% of the time 😉
I began to recognise when I was shutting down like a teenager rather than owning up like an adult (when you live with a significant other, there ain’t no one else to blame!) and instead of immaturely giving excuses and stubbornly shrugging off my juvenile ways, I started to recognise that it wasn’t getting me anywhere.
Learning to put my guard down and be more open to being wrong has helped me to be more loving. I’ve started being patient with people’s difference of opinion, caring more about that person’s feelings who tries to shove a newspaper in my face every evening and am just being more damn right lovely. Of course I still get days where the hormones have gone on a full on rampage and I want to tell everyone to go do one… but day to day, I’ve found myself smiling more, and in turn being smiled at.
One thing that’s noticeably changed is that I’ve become more accountable. Yes in my behaviour but also in my natural laziness from looking after my skin to being wasteful. I’ve stopped swallowing the guilt of being too lazy to clean those plastic cartons (did you know that dirty recycling ends up in the landfill?!) or wash my face PROPERLY and have just started being a conscientious human. It’s no longer uncool to be responsible, and if it is, hell what does it matter.
By owning up to some sort of ‘the time is now’ American motivation talk mantra, I’ve genuinely felt myself relax. Taking action has meant that I’ve stopped stressing about being a bad human and I overall feel so much happier. Even my Mum notices it, so somethings changed.
By not constantly denying the fact you might not always be right, you free up time to take action and in turn be happier in yourself, which as we all knows affects those you love and the strangers that pass you. And of course, there’s the undeniable butterfly effect. If I don’t shout at the guy who demands he gets on the train before I get off, well I can let go of the annoyance… and he’s less likely to get pissy at the dude standing next to him.
So let’s think before we react, give the benefit of the doubt and tell that girl her dress is super cute because it genuinely will make her day. Let’s give more of a shit and make the everyday that bit shiner.
Crikey, does this mean I’m grown up now?